My babies are growing up!

The best and the worst part of parenthood is this: The babies grow up. This is, of course, what a parent wants more than anything in the world. As a mother, there is nothing that matters more than securing a future for my daughters. When I was pregnant with Tatum, this was of enormous concern to me. The baby squirming within my body felt like a shadow of a child and although I loved the IDEA of the family Curt and I were building, I did not feel particularly maternal. And that, oh, that scared the sh*t out of me. I worried that I would not love, truly love, my child. If I had known then what I know now, I would have spent that energy on something much more appealing. Like, say, going to the movies, or walking through the mall. When I think back on it, it amazes me that it ever occurred to me that I might not adore my daughter. Because as soon as I heard her screaming cry, and saw Curt cradling her, calling her our beautiful girl, I was hooked. Then comes two years later I have a new life squirming inside me. How could I truly love this one as much as I love/loved Tatum? How could I split my heart in half? I worried about this the whole time I was carrying McKenzie. The day she came screaming and flailing, I knew how to do it, it felt so natural. It just so happens that your heart splits into two equal halves, and remains that way forever. My daughters are my greatest love, and I know that it would shatter me to the very core if they ever grow up. There is no joy like that of a mother who's children are thriving, no happiness like that of a mother who knows that right now, in this moment her daughters are safe, cheerful, and growing.